being here, just silently

I repeat
the wisdom of a
blooming flowerspring
silversing summersoulprayer
that I dream myself away from
half-sleep each dawning
to the radiant yet empty skybow
from bluest black to goldest yellow
Every dayfading sunset I fall awake to
a mindcoating of winternight starfrost
unlearning again just to let the sun crawl
rising on someone else’s horizon
for a while, the sun belongs to none
but the sky, just like mermaids belong
to the sea alone
I belong to none
but me and you to you
But I repeat to remember
melt my fear just
being tender
being stillness
being near to me
and
being here, just
silently

Then the Old Ghosts
reincarnate my fresh flesh like
old rot haunting new meat
Scar marks underneath fresh cuts
This must be karmic, emotiongusts
spew from submerged Oceans dancing
inside thin but ancient icedust
outisde, history repeats subtly until
the whole perennial hot mystery replays
in today’s confused hues and shades
of pervasive blues and proverbial grays

This apparition fills my beingness
An unseen fire still raging amidst a
forgotten smoke-drenched Soulabyss
These feelings do not languid lay
glowing charcoal ashen gray
They smolder angrily, hot and red and
open-ended, heavy-handed, uncontained,
discompassionate but demandread
subconscious interference
Livid static roaring below the surface
of my superficial sad- or happiness
But I repeat to remember
melt my fear just
being tender
being stillness
being near to me
and
being here, just
silently

This is not
deja vu’s
transient enchanted
memories reincanted,
no slow and pale fated
deeply buried and stale
understated arcane intention
or
an unmentioned lingering
leftover aftertasting
childhood icecream,

This is bewilderness,
waking faedream,
intense and frightening.
a divine unmasking,
unkind sunbeam,
glimpse of how Hell ends,
shot right through my mind fierce in
a cleansing spiritspell spotlight
cast like finding lightning
An unwelcome detective asking search-lens
Illuminating my darkest hiddenmind thiefdens,
Unbidden unlearning of doubtridden weaknesspains
unbinding these secret shamerusted
lovelocked selfmade heartchains
revealing soulroads long blocked by pridepain
healing my willful-blindedness, returning
a certain indescribable woundedness
light so clear and urgent, burning
sight of myself
so real
it destroys me
into pieces so small
they reveal, renew,
and heal me
But I repeat to remember
melt my fear just
being tender
being stillness
being near to me
and
being here, just
silently

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