“Abilities?” I locked my gaze upon the lone eye she had left visible behind her fatal coif, and spoke almost silently, “We all have tricks, but through what devilry, my dear, came by you this unattainability?”
“Merely to daunt you.” She spoke as a ventriloquist might, motionless except for the smoke rising hurriedly from her cigarette, slowing as it cooled above her in a coiling, writhing pile of fascinating swirls. “But not to taunt you. A love, we do share. It would seem though, too powerful to dare. I’ve other aspirations, dove. I know it’s not fair.”
“Speak not your mad poetry to me.” I interrupted. “Words are but paste holding the mind in place, lest we should cry out in the night with desire so great, complete disembodiment might follow, with countless caged motivations set free to run wild in every direction. I do wish to become one with your fears and dreams, but if you oppose, stick to prose and sanity. While my mind can conjure infinite want and will, my heart can bear its defeat but singularly.”
“You poor naive boy.” Her eye finally rising from apathy to tremble towards my gaze. “You lack emotional understanding. Your foresight is so narrowly focused. I sometimes envy, and wish to be so blindly clear of my own worldly wants. I wish I could forget that our love is incapacitating. Were we to spend eternity, you would tire quickly…”
I nearly roared, becoming impatient for resolve, “Hold your whims of ‘our eternity.’ Have you no concept what this means to me? I cannot control if you come or go. But I believe in loving you. My love for you will never leave me, whether you are there to return it, or not, I shall continue to cherish my connection to you.”
After a few minutes of silence, the wisps of emotion passing across her sunset face became words, “It sounds like a curse.”
“More like… an eternal goodbye, a confident walk into a neverending sunset, an unanswerable question, which will never allow me to forget the higher path.” I turned, head still twisted to her as I left. “You taught me… to say no to what my body wants most… to acknowledge what I want, but decide mindfully what I will… You taught me to let go, it is no curse, it is rather, the greatest love.”
Why is it so easy to say i love you but so hard to do?
Why is it easier to love you than to love myself?
Why must some questions remain unanswered?